'I choose you!' - The best guests at Andre 3000's fake wedding from that UGK video for International Players Anthem

 Keep your heart, Three Stacks, keep your heart.

Keep your heart, Three Stacks, keep your heart.

This video is perfect. You don't need me to tell you that, you know it is, if you're my friend you've probably seen it, or at least head me talk about my love for this video. I think about this video at least once a week, and I think about Pimp C's verse at least once an hour. 

I quit my job and I have no girlfriend so I have nothing better going on tonight. For your pleasure I'm going to do a short break down the best guests at Three Stacks' wedding, but first, a quick rundown of some honorable mentions.

 

 I value hydration.

I value hydration.

 Katt Williams?

Katt Williams?

 Technically this is his video too.

Technically this is his video too.

 The coterie of pimps. Who invites this many pimps to a wedding?

The coterie of pimps. Who invites this many pimps to a wedding?

 


The Top 5 Guests at Andre 3000's wedding

 

5. T-Pain

What is it that T-Pain is known for? Is it his angelic voice? No? You mean its the opposite of that? Your boy loves that autotune sound, so I love that he's the choir director at the wedding. I'm also really into the overall energy he's giving the performance, Pain is bouncing around like a man possessed. Technically its the bride and groom's big day, but T-Pain is doing all he can to get some attention. I love it.

 

4. Pimp C

Speaking of people stealing attention from the bride, Pimp C came to this wedding wearing at least two clothing items made from white fur. But I guess if you invite a guy called Pimp C to a wedding, you have to know he's going to be in his flashiest apparel. It should also be noted that he had the best verse in the song, no question, and I'll fight anyone that says otherwise. Andre 3000 had some good lines, and many would say he was the MVP of the track, but for me the title is Pimp C's. Relatively short and to the point, and I would say very representative of the player/pimp lifestyle of the day.

For the record, my rankings of the verses are:

1. Pimp C

2. Andre 3000

3. Bun B

4. Big Boi

 

3. Fonzworth Bentley

Look, I love Fonzworth Bentley, I'm one of approximately 69 people that watched From G's to Gent's, so I am probably ranking him too high on this list. For those that don't know, this was the guy that used to hold Puff Daddy's umbrella, so I'm super stoked to see he was invited to such an illustrious affair. I think he was also in the video for Roses

Mainly what I love about him in this video (aside from his reaction shots)  is that he came to the wedding with Andre 3000's ex-girlfriend. What a bold move, and he even stuck around for the reception after. Like, this is a guy who is comfortable with himself, and confident in his ability to please his woman. He knows who she's going home with.

 Bonus reaction shot with Big Boi in the back.

Bonus reaction shot with Big Boi in the back.


2. The wedding singer

I want to know everything about this guy. Are those glasses prescription?

What is going on with my man's hair? Is that a piece? It has to be. That rug is insane.

Why is he dressed like Steve Harvey redesigned the UPS uniform? He looks like a package I would send back. But yet I can't look away. This man is incredible, his charisma is electric. If you know who this guy is, post it in the comments.

 

1. Lukas Haas

How did he get invited? There is something Andre 3000 isn't telling us. Not only is he basically the only white guy at the wedding, he's one of the groomsmen. Lukas Haas must have some serious intangibles.  So who is this guy? I'll try my best to explain Lukas Haas (disclaimer: I'm not a film expert), mostly I know Lukas Haas from him hanging around with Leonardo DiCaprio in the 90's. They had a crew called 'The Pussy Posse' which included Toby MacGuire, David Blaine, E from Entourage, Randy from My Name is Earl, among others. Lukas Haas is in... stuff. He's around, he was in Mars Attacks, and a ton of other stuff in smaller supporting roles. I got respect for him, Lukas Haas is always working, and that isn't nothing. Maybe he learned something from his Pussy Posse days, Leo must have rubbed off on him enough that he was able to secure an invite to probably the greatest wedding ever, and not just as the guy who sweeps up the rice at the end, he's in the wedding party.

 

SPECIAL BONUS 

We had a pimping dynasty!