The final season of Downton is here, and my heart is heavy. I'll miss these fancy white folks an unreasonable amount, we've been together through so much. It's tough to rank people this early on when we spend so much time playing catch up, so consider this a preseason/episode 1 power ranking.
5. Dr. Clarkson
Players gonna play.
Not a great doctor evidenced by his misdiagnosis of Matthews back (it wasn't broken, you'd hope your doctor knows the difference), but my dude keeps picking up his cheque every week. Whatever man, keep getting those cheques, I can't knock his hustle. Plus his mustache is always on point, and that counts for something.
4. Lady Edith
Look, it's tough being her, she was always my (and probably everybody's) least favorite of the girls, and it wasn't her fault, Lady Sybil (r.i.p.) and Lady Mary were just unfortunately on a whole other level. Edith, she's probably going to be OK. Being the mostly ignored middle child has toughened her up, she was the first of the girls to learn to drive, plus she actually has a real job, and her own apartment in the city. I hope she has a big season, and maybe finds a nice age appropriate man. I think she'll have the most exciting post Downton life.
3. Carson
Carson gonna give it to you.
Look, he's probably really racist and stuff, but I can't help liking the guy. Deep down inside he's a kindhearted man who is always looking out for the Crawley family's best interest. You may remember he got engaged to Ms. Hughes during the last Christmas special, a major coup for a man with his eyebrows. Shout out to Carson for remaining virile despite looking about 100 years old. He revealed this week, that he fully intends on consummating his marriage physically. This show is turning into Cocoon. I've never seen Cocoon, but I think it's just a bunch of old people getting it on.
2.Lady Mary
Veil game on fleek
You all know I'm a big Lady Mary fan, so it was great to catch up with the old girl, I'm glad she's doing well. I was so worried about her after Matthew died, but she's done a great job of ignoring their child and being a big old jerk to her sister. This week she narrowly escaped scandal and got herself a new job, I'd say that was a good week for anyone, me personally, I'm always embroiled in a scandal and I definitely need a job.
Lady Mary gets it in, can't hate on her for that. Plus she looked great in her riding clothes, even with the stupid hat.
1. British Justice, envy of the world.
"my eyebrows are triangles"
Huge week for Justice, Anna was finally exonerated when the real killer of her rapist came forward and confessed. Poor Anna and John Bates have pretty much been crapped on for the past 5 years, between prison, sexual assault, and their difficulty conceiving it's nice to see thhings turning around for them. They're basically decent folks and it would be nice to see them have a happy ending.
Upstairs with the rich folk, Lady Mary's attempted blackmailing was quickly squashed. Lord Grantham talked the blackmailer down from 1000 pounds to 50 which is some real good negotiating. Me personally, I would have probably fought for a little more money, she probably could have gotten at least 100 if she tried a little harder. It's like she gave up after his first counter offer.