Too Similar Tuesday - DraftKings vs FanDuel

Hey, do you like sports betting? Well, you're on this website, so I'm guessing the answer is a resounding 'no'. 

But let's say you wanted to make some money off of the physical accomplishments of a bunch of large mutant millionaires, which of the two most popular one day fantasy sports services should you use? Glad you asked, friend! Let big daddy walk you through this.

Don't let me call myself big daddy, it sets a bad precedent.

 

 Dude, just give me the money instead, I promise I'll use it to take pretty girls/myself out to noodles.

Dude, just give me the money instead, I promise I'll use it to take pretty girls/myself out to noodles.

Logo

Damn, playboy. That DraftKings logo is like 3 lens flares short of a No Limit Records album cover. Which is the best compliment you can give a graphic designer, trust me, I have friends in the graphic design world and they all tell me how much they wished they worked for Pen and Pixel in the 90's.  OK, zero of them told me that, in fact I consulted with zero of them period for this.

FanDuel, brother you need to spice up your life a little, add some tight ass swords or like, I dunno maybe like a cool tiger holding a revolver? 

 

FanDuel 0 DraftKings 1

 

Name

FanDuel makes a lot more sense to me than DraftKings. How much drafting is actually involved in this whole operation? I don't know because I'm not a degenerate gambler. What I can tell you is that drafts aren't universal in sport. Sure it's the norm among the major North American team sports, but it's like not even a thing in European football, NCAA football, or NASCAR, or effing PGA golf, which are all things you can bet on through DraftKings. FanDuel is a more elegant if still incredibly stupid name.

 

FanDuel 1 DraftKings 1

 

Strategic Partnerships

FanDuel is the official money sink for poor scrubs looking to catch a break of the NBA, DraftKings is the official way to drain MLB fans of their money.

Basketball is a LOT cooler than baseball. No question.
 

Quick, who is the best baseball player in the world? Can you even name 5? A-Rod probably doesn't count. Who is the best basketball player in the world? Lebron. Maybe Steph Curry right now. Either way those guys are way more recognizable than any MLB baseballman. Baseball just isn't sexy guys.


FanDuel 2 DraftKings 1

 

Bottom Line

The best service is the one that offers me money to say they're the best.  Look, they're already pretty sketchy, I'm 100% willing to follow them down the scumbag rabbit hole for a little money. I'll take anyone's money. Do you have money? I'll take it! 

 

Winner: Me(?)