2 Detective - True Detective Season 2 Episode 2

Shout out to C.S. Lee

Shout out to C.S. Lee

I have to say, this week was a little better for me. I enjoyed this episode more than last weeks, and if this keeps up, I might actually like the show by the end of the 6th week.

Everyone get out your True Detective scorecards, let's see who is the truest detective.

What is love?

What is love?

Vince Vaughn

He started the episode having a late night existential crisis in bed (+5), he talks about his pretty crappy childhood and relationship with his drunk father, a standard of the genre (+10). He was a real jerk this episode to poor Ray Velcro (-10), but I guess that's all part of being a criminal. Not a whole lot of really nice guys in crime, it turns out. Later on, our man VeezNutz sends some Russian goons to beat up a guy on the side of the road, once again proving that crime isn't really for nice people (-10). Come on Vince, you'll never be the truest detective if you keep this nonsense up! Points to him for doing some detective work when he headed down to the club to talk to shake down a hooker for information (+10) 

Score- +5

Overall- 0


Fried Chicken

Fried Chicken

Tim Riggins

Off to a strong start with the morgue scene (+5 for everyone), not a flashy scene, but as Tim Duncan has taught us, it's all about the fundamentals, and it doesn't get any more classic than a coroner breakdown. (+10) for bringing his mom chicken, what a nice boy. Oh wait, nevermind, his next scene has him throwing some casual homophobia around, way to flush all that chicken goodwill down the drain. (-10). A real bummer of a week for Tim Riggins, I almost wish I knew the characters name, I guess I could google it, but then I would risk being the best detective. (+5) Points for having relationship problems with his girlfriend, because this show is built on the backs of scumbags, I feel this should be rewarded. His last scene has him seemingly drunkenly contemplating committing a hate crime against some local homosexuals. Did Coach Taylor teach you nothing?

Score- +10

Overall- +30


Shout out to the girl on the left for having the fiercest walk I've ever seen on HBO

Shout out to the girl on the left for having the fiercest walk I've ever seen on HBO



Rachel MacAddams

(+5) For that morgue scene from earlier. She does a classic crime scene walkthrough with Ray Velcro,  which didn't serve a whole lot of purpose, I guess (+5). She immediately loses credibility in the next scene by pulling out a vape pen( (-10). If you want to make it in this garbage world you're going to need to be toughen up and smoke some real cigarettes. Later she questions a real leathery doctor with Ray Velcro, so that's pretty detective-y (+15). Would have been a lot more points if she slammed his head on the desk or something, but I guess you can't win them all. Later her and Ray shoot the breeze in the car some more, talking about their troubled pasts (+5). She finishes the night strong by doing some google investigating while drinking whiskey (+10)


Score- 30

Overall- 65



Ray "Colin Farrell" Velcro

Alright, now we're talking. The king of detect...ing? Last week's truest detective, your man Ray Velcro. (+5) For the morgue,  (+25) for his adventures with Rachel MacAddams, so far a big week for Ray, and we haven't even got into his solo stuff. He picked up some Lebron's for his kid, but was greeted instead by an engry ex-wife (+10) played by the most beautiful woman on television, Abigail Spencer. Look, everyone's personal life is the least interesting thing about this show, that goes double for Ray, we don't need you to see you being a human fart to know you're a total jerkface. Quick aside: if Colin Farrell and Abigail Spencer ever did have kids, their progeny would rule the world within 2 generations. Ray should also get points for calliing MacAddams out on her vaping (+5).  Real tough week for Ray.


Score- +45

Overall- +105


There you have it, Ray Velcro is really running away with this one, but judging by the last scene, his spell of dominance might be ending soon.