Valentines Day Hump Tunes For You And Your Old Lady To Get Freaky To.

Y'all know what day it is, it's the sexiest day of the year, maybe not the sexiest, but its in the top hundred probably.

Anyways, here is a super sexy playlist guaranteed to get someone pregnant today. Please don't be me, please don't be me, please don't be me.

Think of us when you're knockin' boots later.


A classic hump song that you probably thought was Bob Marley, because everyone thinks every reggae song is Bob Marley, unless of course it's a white guy reggae act.


R Kelly one time put out an album called 12play because  it's 3 times better than foreplay. This is not an endorsement of the man, he seems kinda garbage, but the man knows how to drop a panty.


As you may or may not know, I think about this song like 12 times an hour.

For when you want to slow things down because your back is starting to tighten up because you're falling apart at the seams. Is that just me? Guys, I'm basically a walking corpse.


Oh, your girl (or fella) too classy for Kellz? Throw on some D'Angello, and pull out your P'Angello. Just don't let them watch the video because they don't need to be reminded what a tubby pile of guts you are.


Please don't call your valentine 'bitch'

Unless you're both into that.


OK, time to bring the tempo up, and who better than Mister Wolrdwide to speed things up? Take it from me, a certified cool sex man, If you put on some Pitbull  you better bring a poncho.


Oh boy, I need a cigarette after that.


Please, call me Shaggy, Mister Boombastic was my fathers name. Is this song sexy? I feel like I don't even know what that means anymore. I dunno. 


This is the song that played as my wife walked down the aisle on out wedding day.


I hope this helps get someone laid, but maybe if you need Shaggy to help, there might be some deeper underlying problems in your relationship you need to address. I dunno, I'm not a couples therapist, just a board certified sexpert. Please don't ask to see my credentials.

Here's one last song for everyone else