Too Similar Tuesdays - Tobey Maguire vs Topher Grace
Tonight we bring you an all out battle between two dopey looking white men with silly names who still look like young boys, reaching middle age, Tobey Maguire and Topher Grace. Have you ever wondered who is better? I have, I thought about it all morning. You know if we did this 5 years ago, you might have to put Jake Gyllenhaal into the mix, but he's really stepped it up, he's like a legit movie star now. Poor Tobey and Topher, they've been left in Jake Nasty's dust. I just really like Jake Gyllenhaal you guys.
Let's crack this mother wide open and see who is truly better. Like, imagine we had to pick one to go to mars, or you have to shoot one of them.
I thought this would be a closer battle, it was a blowout.
I did a super formal well researched Facebook poll to see what the kids thought. It went overwhelmingly in Topher Grace's favour. Tobey didn't even get a pity vote. I think they both look ridiculous, but this is no place for editorializing, we're all about solid facts.
The numbers point to Topher Grace
Score: Topher 1 Tobey 0
According to boxofficemojo.com your boy Topher has grossed $793,633,623 over 13 films, and bad boy Tobey is sitting at $1,537,461,227 over 14 films.
It should be clear the winner is Tobey, but lets take a look at the underlying numbers here.
Most of Tobey's box office is from the Spider-Man franchise, each one earning over 300 million. Topher was also in Spider-Man 3, the worst performing of the trilogy. Aside from that and his marginal involvement in the Soderberg Ocean's movies (which do not contribute to his numbers here) Topher has remained mostly Franchise free.
Tobey has two non-franchise pictures that made over 100 million, Seabiscuit and The Great Gatsby a couple of movies I haven't seen. Topher also has two, the wonderful Interstellar, and the basically fart garbage Valentines Day.
In the past five years things get more muddy for T and T music factory. Maguire has only appeared in 4 movies since Gyllenhaal ate his lunch in 2009's Brothers, it should be noted that one recent film - 2013's Labor Day isn't even included in Box Office Mojo's breakdown. The Great Gatsby grossed over 100 million but the rest of his movies since 2010 have had unremarkable box office numbers. In comparison Topher Grace keeps getting those cheques. Since 2010 Topher has been in nine films, and that includes his two biggest performing movies, Interstellar (where he was like the fifth billed actor, if not lower) and Valentines Day (an ensemble piece where he was also like 8th from the top) he was also in the minor hit Predators.
Topher isn't the headliner in his highest grossing movies, so for that, combined with the overall box office numbers we have to give the points to Tobey, even though he hasn't been in much lately.
Score: Topher 1 Tobey 1
This one is a blow out.
Tobey is whooping Topher 61-46 according to Metacritic.
Tobey's most acclaimed movies is Spider-Man 2 (83), a movie I really don't like, while Topher's highest metascore is 74 for Interstellar.
Beyond that Tobey has 12 movies with metascores considered 'positive' whereas poor Topher is sitting at three. For the record their lowest metascores are Seeking Justice (38) and Don Peyote (14) for Maguire and Grace.
Score: Topher 1 Tobey 2
Topher standing tall at 1.8 meters, over young Tobey who is at a lowly 1.73 meters.
Tobey should be embarassed.
Score: Topher 2 Tobey 2
Tobey was in something called 'The Pussy Posse' in the 90's with Lukas Haas, David Blaine, Harmony Korrine and DiCaprio. Also Randy from My Name is Earl.
It's a real thing, Google it.
-5 Points to Tobey.
I have no idea who Topher is rolling with, but it can't be worse than that menagerie.
Final Score: Topher 2 Tobey -3
Tobey Maguire only has himself to blame.