Yo, did you know Halloween is this weekend? If you're like me, you aren't too worried about finding a costume because we're NO FUN. If you're the festive sort then shame on you for putting this off so long, you only got like three days!
Luckily you've found this page, your boy Hank will get you sorted out.
Men's Sexy Doll Mask
Who doesn't want to feel sexy this Halloween? Sexy costumes aren't just for pretty ladies anymore!
Pair this with a matching flesh coloured body stocking and you can guarantee you will be going home alone. No walk of shame the next day!
Also great for serial killers!
Breathalyzer
Looking to dress up as a monster this weekend? Do you hate women? Do you smell like skin that's never been washed? Have you taken a vow of celibacy?
I know I don't have to tell you what a great outfit this is. It's probably offensive to women, police officers, and drunk drivers. So, yeah, pretty edgy.
Hulk Hogan
Genuinely surprised you can still get one! Hulk's had a big year I assumed it would be impossible to get your hands on one of these bad boys.
He's become wrestling's biggest monster since Chris Benoit, eat your heart out Dracula!
Mesoamerican dudes from Apocalypto
This makes a great group costume, and it's so easy! The only problem will be deciding who gets to be Jaguar Paw!
Kids love pop culture costumes, and we don't need any more lame Avenger's. You can bet you'll be the only group dressed as a ten year old Mel Gibson directed picture. So hip!
Carlos Boozer
If you're really out of time, just grab a wife beater, write 'Boozer' on the back of it. The marker also doubles as his hair.
Talk about value!